Homesick

I’m not gonna lie. I didn’t think I was going to feel homesick this fast but how naiive would I be to think that this would be a totally easy process. When I decided to move here I wasn’t in the best place, I didn’t like how I was feeling, I wasn’t happy with my situation so I decided to change it. London had always been a faint whisper in my head so when I decided to actually plunge and try something different to get me out of this funk and it was the only place that made sense to go. Because I had this voice in my head for almost a year I knew it wasn’t by accident, I knew God called me to be here and that’s why I’m going to stick it through. But I would lying if I said moving across the ocean is easy. It’s not. Everyday I think about (not dwell) on what I left and I miss certain people terribly but I have to keep my eyes open to the bigger picture.

Already I’m feeling so free and at peace. I know whatever happens here I’m going to go back home (which is now LA) as a better person and that excites me more than anything and motivates me to embrace this journey. Now that my visitors are all gone it’s just me and I think it hit me hard that I have a lot more time still here. It’s definitely going to be more mellow now but I’m thinking about joining a gym to give me something to get  up to in the morning. I’ve also been reading books to feed my mind and taking time to connect with God on a deeper level and meditate.

Before London everything around me was pretty chaotic, I was agitated and annoyed a lot so it’s nice to be in quiet most days and feel a calm over me. Why I didn’t decide to do it on a nice warm island is an afterthought haha but I haven’t dealt with real cold in a while so I’ll take it.

Also this is temporary, I’ll be back in the States after the New Year and more ready then ever to start fresh and that’s what excited me the most out of everything.

xx

Photos by Michaela Efford

Wearing: Bershka sweater, Pretty Little Things skirt, Zara boots, Kapten & Son watch

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