I know a lot of men aren’t stopping by to read my blog but maybe if we can share this we can reach some of them.
A recent encounter while shooting pictures left me a little shaken and annoyed with “men” I use quotations because I’m using this word very generally in categorizing, aka not every single man in the world, though it’s good for all of them to be aware of this point I’m getting ready to make.
Basically a man pulls up in his car very close to me and my friend while shooting with his window down, STARING with sunglasses on. I’m talking like pulls up in his serial killer pickup truck two feet away. He was creeping hard and very blatantly. When asked if we can help him he asked what we were doing. Obviously we were taking pictures sir, doesn’t take a genius to see this.
Now I know I was wearing something bodycon, but I like to dress a little sexy, I’m a woman after all and I’m never going to apologize for that. But this does NOT mean that it’s an invitation for you to invade our space. Annoyed with his questions my friend proceeded to yell at him which only caused him to become irate and yell back obscenities at us. (I don’t recommend yelling at a man that you feel a little threatened by, unless he’s attacking you I would just make him aware you see him being a creep and keep it moving swiftly, you don’t want to escalate the situation) At this point I’m scared because why did he pull up in front of us? and What did he expect? For us to be inviting? He is a stranger after all. Stranger Danger people. To me only a crazy person would think that was normal.
He begins to move his car and I’m worried because he could totally block our cars in the way we were parked and he said he would “show us” before he drove off which frightened me that he may come back. After being shaken up and choosing another place to shoot in case he decided to come back and “show us” it really made me think. A. I really need to get some pepper spray and B. Do men not understand how their actions come across? So I’m writing a little letter to all the men out there who don’t seem to unserstand.
Just because I wear a sexy outfit it does not indicate an invitation for you to come over and harass me. Especially if I’m clearly minding my own business in public. With all the rape, and attacks on woman happening daily, its SCARY to be approached by a man out the blue in public. We as women ALWAYS have to have our guard up, there is never a time we can let it down because of the crazy men that ruin it for all men. So when you approach us make sure your actions aren’t putting you in the crazy category at first approach, trust me its a fine line but it’s possible.
Most self respecting women DO NOT want to be constantly gawked and hollered at. We always know there will be wandering eyes and you will stare as we pass by but just know how creepy it can come across. I have had on numerous occasions of people trying to grab my hand while walking down the street. This is not cute nor funny and its actually outright scary for a female and since when was scaring a girl equivalent to hitting on her. When your over the age of 8 anyway. Is this supposed to make me want to give you my number or even give you a second of my time?
If you have respect for a women you should think about your actions. Would you want the same way you act towards a women on the street be the same way another man does towards your mom or sister? Would you knock another man out for that? Think about it…..Then knock yourself out for being an idiot..just kidding….Kind of.
But basically all I want men to understand is the things we as women have to think and worry about on the daily is not the same for them. I always have a sweater and flat shoes in my car when I go out in case I have to walk somewhere far or in the dark. I want to cover up and be ready to run if necessary. And this is not extreme. This is life. Some of the things that happen to us women you can even make up in a movie. And I just wish men would understand that.
On a funny note, one for the ladies, I once read the difference between man’s actions coming across as creepy or sexy is how attracted you are to him. Which I kind of agree with, we give a pass to more attractive men, but don’t let that fool you ladies, never let your guard down to a man you first meet. You don’t know them.
You don’t have to walk around being scared but unfortunately the world is not perfect and bad things happen and little caution goes a long way.
P.S. I definitely went home and bought pepper spray. I would spray a sucker so fassstttt
I feel ya girl, I tend to have my guard up alot when I am alone some where and I feel that way even walking from the parking lot to a store. I sometimes wear a hat when doing errands because it helps with not making eye contact with “creepers”. I don’t mind having some one say something nice to me but there is definitely a fine line between nice encounter and just plan creepy.
Aloha, Kathleen | http://www.houseofpolynesia.com
Yes i agree! Some men don’t understand what creepy is :-/